Swiss Security
For our last class of "US History in the 20th Century", we watched a few original films from the 1950's put out by the US government to help prepare citizens in the event of a nuclear attack. "Duck and cover, Timmy!" was the advice to a kid playing on his bike when an H-bomb exploded in his neighborhood. Um...yeah, THAT will save you.
But US citizens were not the only ones to fear a nuclear holocaust. That threat loomed large over Europe and it seems that Switzerland planned to effectively weather any such fallout storm and eventually re-emerge to rule a vitrified world. Yes, the Swiss--who are renowned for their planning and precision--required every house and building to be equipped with a sturdy bomb shelter. Seriously. Most folks use theirs as a "cave" (i.e. cellar, but in French this automatically implies a WINE cellar) and storage basement. Here's the door to one in my church, and the air filter in the corner.
Even women and children on street signs are ready for an attack.
All the male citizens are required to join the Swiss Army which is world-famous for its little red pocket-knives. At least that’s what everyone thinks…but as a matter of fact, all the soldiers get a handsome silver knife. But wait! That’s not all! Upon completion of their obligatory military service, everyone gets to keep their sturdy automatic rifle with some ammo. No joke.
But now on to my favourite part about Switzerland’s precautions. All of what follows comes from conversations with my friend Grégoire, who is an officer in the Swiss Army, as is his father. So in the event of a nuclear attack, everyone down to the peasant tending his cows in the Alpine wilderness has a nuclear shelter in their home. Got that covered.
But what about a traditional land invasion?! Geographically, Switzerland is not the easiest country to invade: huge heaps of mountains on nearly every side make for a formidable defense. Hence few if any of its expansionist neighbours even bothered to try: the costs clearly outweighed the benefits. But the modern transport system with bridges and tunnels has made Switzerland much more accessible than it was back in the 1800s. Aha! That’s where you’re wrong! According to Grégoire, every major road and bridge has built-in recesses at key points so they can be primed for explosion without delay. Add explosives, a detonator cap and fuse line and bammo-wammo, no tanks will be dropping in to say hello any time soon.
Speaking of dropping in, what about an attack from the air? When the US wants to perform considerable air operations in a given location, it sends in a few aircraft carriers to do the job. Switzerland has its own aircraft carriers. Yes, I’m aware that it is landlocked and as a neutral country would never think of going on the offensive—so its aircraft carriers are immobile mountains! That’s right, MOUNTAINS. Carved up like "Swiss cheese," as the joke goes. Carefully camouflaged doors open up to let fighter jets come swooping out of the labyrinth of tunnels carved into harmless-looking peaks.
I’ve heard from a number of people about a huge military hospital carved into some mountain as well. Grégoire did admit that keeping all these shelters, hideouts and runways stocked and in repair is rather costly and that the Swiss government has begun to close some down to cut back expenditures. But I still wouldn't recommend trying to take over Switzerland.
But US citizens were not the only ones to fear a nuclear holocaust. That threat loomed large over Europe and it seems that Switzerland planned to effectively weather any such fallout storm and eventually re-emerge to rule a vitrified world. Yes, the Swiss--who are renowned for their planning and precision--required every house and building to be equipped with a sturdy bomb shelter. Seriously. Most folks use theirs as a "cave" (i.e. cellar, but in French this automatically implies a WINE cellar) and storage basement. Here's the door to one in my church, and the air filter in the corner.
Even women and children on street signs are ready for an attack.
All the male citizens are required to join the Swiss Army which is world-famous for its little red pocket-knives. At least that’s what everyone thinks…but as a matter of fact, all the soldiers get a handsome silver knife. But wait! That’s not all! Upon completion of their obligatory military service, everyone gets to keep their sturdy automatic rifle with some ammo. No joke.
But now on to my favourite part about Switzerland’s precautions. All of what follows comes from conversations with my friend Grégoire, who is an officer in the Swiss Army, as is his father. So in the event of a nuclear attack, everyone down to the peasant tending his cows in the Alpine wilderness has a nuclear shelter in their home. Got that covered.
But what about a traditional land invasion?! Geographically, Switzerland is not the easiest country to invade: huge heaps of mountains on nearly every side make for a formidable defense. Hence few if any of its expansionist neighbours even bothered to try: the costs clearly outweighed the benefits. But the modern transport system with bridges and tunnels has made Switzerland much more accessible than it was back in the 1800s. Aha! That’s where you’re wrong! According to Grégoire, every major road and bridge has built-in recesses at key points so they can be primed for explosion without delay. Add explosives, a detonator cap and fuse line and bammo-wammo, no tanks will be dropping in to say hello any time soon.
Speaking of dropping in, what about an attack from the air? When the US wants to perform considerable air operations in a given location, it sends in a few aircraft carriers to do the job. Switzerland has its own aircraft carriers. Yes, I’m aware that it is landlocked and as a neutral country would never think of going on the offensive—so its aircraft carriers are immobile mountains! That’s right, MOUNTAINS. Carved up like "Swiss cheese," as the joke goes. Carefully camouflaged doors open up to let fighter jets come swooping out of the labyrinth of tunnels carved into harmless-looking peaks.
I’ve heard from a number of people about a huge military hospital carved into some mountain as well. Grégoire did admit that keeping all these shelters, hideouts and runways stocked and in repair is rather costly and that the Swiss government has begun to close some down to cut back expenditures. But I still wouldn't recommend trying to take over Switzerland.
posted by Ben at 3:44 PM
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